...
...Right?
...
Even calling this an understatement is an understatement.
Wow. And to think the original was bad. Let's take a look, shall we?Stupid Bunny wrote:If anything, this is worse than the original! The graphics are just as ugly, and the gameplay has gone from being simply bad to AGGRAVATINGLY BORING!!!
I miss the library graphics the original had already, although the mine cart does give some relief.
So, let me get this straight. Commander Keen entered a world of infinite yellow void where buildings are made of spoons and badly recolored Keen 6 platforms through a melting door from a world of nothing but radio actively red liquid, and his enemies are bad guys ripped from Real Keen Player. This is what you call a "mind twister!"
Let's dive right in, shall we?
Stealing from other fangames already. Shame on this. (although, at least the guy made these graphics. Or at least, worked with these previously.)
Well, at least we're hearing an actual adlib Keen cli-
...Why is the Lemmings theme playing? How much more out of place could the music be? Also, that font is horrible.
Now we're listening to a very quiet version of the eat your veggies song. The only reason I know it has actual music at all is because it does have bits that are audible with my default speaker volume.
Also, I love the hallucinogenic eyes staring at Keen.
And now we're listening to a different Lemmings song. Can this game make up its mind?
Let's look at the credits.
I SAID CREDITS, NOT ASTEROIDS!!!
...What do you mean these ARE the credits?
That's right, I have to shoot asteroids to get credits. Judging by the name "mptkcoin[1]," we're listening to Mario music. The worst part?
It doesn't even seem to work. Great.
I don't want to Quit, so let's look at the High Scores.
MORE LEMMINGS MUSIC?!?!
...What would Keen look like as a Lemming?
Close enough.
Let's Play Frogger!
...What is this mutation I'm listening to? It's looping like music, which sounds really awful.
Also, got to love the mutant frog and cars.
*Later*
I GOT 9 POINTS! YES! I WON! (Yes, I did have to read the source to figure out that nine points was victory.) AND...
"KOMMANDAR KEEN WINZ!!"
Oh, lovely. He stole the really squeaky voice from Mortal Keenbat. Why? It sounds like a nasally-voiced rat after inhaling a bank vault full of helium!
After waiting a little, I get a message.
I don't feel like I've accomplished anything.
Is Space Invaders any better?
No, it's not.
...
You know, somebody really needs to make a rap song out of this looping noise. (Yes, it plays here to.)
...Alright, alright.
...*ahem*... *bows to the audience*
In the first bad game, there was a Pig Stun
It later turned out that it's just a Big Gun
There was a guy named Commander Mean
Revealed himself as Mort to Commander Keen, dig it!
In the next game you feel like a Lemm'
Try to solve why this guy stole from them
You'll hear this background music in two Mini-games
And if you ask me that's pretty lame, dig it!
You can shoot out the window in this Space Invader
Ask me to play this, I'll say "see you later"
Lazy graphics and nasal mice
I think this game's so lame that it'd melt ice, dig it!
The ship's upside down for no good reason
And has a big hole, and that's bad this season
'Cause the land's all red and the border's bland
He could made a better game out of sand, dig it!
(Nice library music.)
...I give up on rapping. It's too challenging to try and come up with lyrics for this terrible scene with Keen walking on lava into a world made of blue and brown striped blocks.
The first time around, I actually died because the bad guys gave me no chance to do anything. How fair. Also, when Keen dies, he twirls out of existence instead of dying like he would in the games. Also, why are we listening to library music that sounds like Yoshi's Island music? (I checked the file, and it's almost certainly not: the name of the file says "circus," and it really doesn't sound like any circus music I've heard... Although I haven't ever been to a circus. )
I just love how the enemies look like bad chalk board doodles.
Ok, so the guy's trying to be Keen, so I give him credit for that much. However, there' not much Keen around this place. The terrain was also completely flat.
See you next time!