Let's play TUIT2: Stranded on Itchbay!

You can discuss anything about fan-made Commander Keen games here.
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Bonevelous
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Post by Bonevelous »

Keenfan wrote:Your reviews are just great! I really enjoy reading them! Keep up that great work!

The best moment for me was
This was a triumph.
I'm writing a note here... "Huge success."
Just :lol

But I don't think GLADOS did ever think about this sort of cruelty. :-D
Thanks :lol

...I wonder if this would be too inhumane for even GlaDOS herself? :confused :P
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StupidBunny
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Post by StupidBunny »

Excellent so far :) I just realized...for the record, "Itchbay" is Pig Latin for "bitch." I'm not sure if the author realized this or not but it isn't funny either way so...
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DaVince
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Post by DaVince »

Then maybe he intended the gameplay to be a bitch! :lol
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Bonevelous
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Post by Bonevelous »

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"OM NOM NOM NOM"

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This level is a complete insult to my favorite color.

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...And it's also insulting "Amazing Learning Games With Rayman," the best educational game in existence. Can this game go any lower?

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Oh, now it's insulting Portal, too, with being warped through those doors. Even though this was made three years before Portal came out.

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This doesn't look like a hard level at all. I'm beginning to think there are no enemi-
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Of course, as soon as I touch him, he reveals himself.

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May I mention that these skeletons would make any anatomy teacher cry?

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Those poles are probably the biggest challenge in this level, due to bad programming.

And look!
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I was able to climb the wall, and get in this dead-end path.

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QUALITY.

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This isn't level design, this is randomly placed blocks!

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Free lives! This life never disappears, and even though standing in it only adds one life, hopping in and out of it over and over allows you to have infinite lives. If only all really hard platform games with lives were this forgiving at some point.

I got stuck in a wall, so I had to start over. I eventually discovered that I could skip the portal doors and leave the trap-enemy alone by climbing the wall.
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This game's programming, at its absolute worst.

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Not challenging at all, especially with a billion lives like I have right now.

Missed this on my first run through, but noticed right away:
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A stock "boing" sound effect (That's right, even the LIBRARY'S ripping sounds now :P ) accompanies this odd exit sign and the normal Keen 4 exit melody.

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Have I mentioned that NO Keen music has payed yet (other than in the menu)?

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"OHOHOHOHO, COMMANDER KEEN MAKES ME STRONG MAN" Image

Yes, I made that EmotiKeen myself. 8)
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Oh this is so bad. First off, this level uses the same boring music the other half did. Second off, those spikes get blasted with an explosion, something that made me jump the first time I heard it. Third off...
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...THERE IS NO DESIGN IN THIS LEVEL. I just walk back and forth, stopping in between each gap to make sure I don't get hit by a spike. So exciting.
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This isn't going to be a very exciting end, is it?

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This is starting to get more random, and maybe slightly more interesting.

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I love Keen's facial expression. "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!?!?" Even if it was ripped from the first fangame ever.
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I have a feeling this is going to be a huge improvement.
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Post by Lumpytoast »

OAHHH, IS GOOD DAY TO BE GIANT MAN! Image
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Bonevelous
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Post by Bonevelous »

Lumpytoast wrote:OAHHH, IS GOOD DAY TO BE GIANT MAN! Image
Image LOOK AT YOU TINY ITSY-BITSY MEN RUNNING FROM SANDVICH!

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MORE LEMMINGS MUSIC?!?!

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...Oh. That explains everything. Keen is a obviously Lemming who's hiding his identity. Moving on.

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I remember thinking that those purple tiles were background when I first saw this level. I was wrong.

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Remember: in this game, being smaller than a fly isn't actually that unrealistic. Keen is a Lemming in this game, after all.

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This is so endlessly lazy! Those lines are lines of transparency, not white.

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I love the insane change in difficulty in this game. It's like skipping the insanely hard (perhaps impossible) level sucked the difficulty out of the rest of the game. :crazy

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Apparently, this set of piano keys is a gate. Who would have figured. Let's go to the tunnel at the end of this path, shall we?

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I'm not excited at all.

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Err... What? It just skipped a whole level!

Thanks to the fact I'm running the source, that's not an issue! :D

... :no ...
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Now the green guys are inverted when they're alive. Wonderful. Also, why am I walking on lasers?

Also, no Keen music. In fact, in this level, he's just recycling music from an earlier level.
Thanks to the fact that Commander Keen is the best Climber of all Lemmings...
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We can do this. Yes, Keen walks on air. Name any OTHER Lemming who can do that.

Best part?
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You aren't stuck there! You can just jump out of that when you're done!

...

Maybe Keen's also a wizard.
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Got a life from here. You must be wondering what I do. I was wondering too.

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Then I discovered that you can shoot some platforms, making them grow, spin, then fly away. Quite random, but also very unique. I still don't know what to do at this point.

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...In fact, I never figured how to escape that level. It's like the guy forgot to add an exit. Guess this level is better skipped.

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OH MAH ZOMBIES WAT AM I DO HERE I'LL NEVE-
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Just kidding. Good thing Keen's a Climber.

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"All that hard training for nothing!"
Don't they know ANYTHING about Lemmings?

"Next time we see you,YOU'LL BE SORRY!"
I'll be sorry for playing this, that's what.

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Trust me, this isn't even close to being as cool as it sounds.

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More Lemmings music? This game should have been named "TUIT: Stranded on some ugly planet that always has random Lemmings or library music!" Further evidence that Keen is secretly a Lemming.

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If you thought collecting gems was bad before, just try it with bad low-gravity physics.

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I originally though I was getting caught on the ceiling. I was wrong.

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Could that swirly mass be something OTHER than a level? That'd be kind of nice; This map was so unbelievably linear that the game may as well had no map at all!

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Of course not. Instead, we're entering Slinky-World (No, that does NOT look like a "Canyon Maze" to me).
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kuliwil
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Post by kuliwil »

Bonevelous wrote: Image
Remember: in this game, being smaller than a fly isn't actually that unrealistic. Keen is a Lemming in this game, after all.
I though that was more a really poorly drawn grand piano that it was a fly... it'd match the level with an 8ve as its symbol on the map?

Image I love ur new emoticons, and KEEN LEMMING FTW! Image
Should add em to the emoticon roundup thread :disguised
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VikingBoyBilly
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Post by VikingBoyBilly »

this game never ceases to crack me up :lol
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Bonevelous
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Post by Bonevelous »

kuliwil wrote:
Bonevelous wrote: Image
Remember: in this game, being smaller than a fly isn't actually that unrealistic. Keen is a Lemming in this game, after all.
I though that was more a really poorly drawn grand piano that it was a fly... it'd match the level with an 8ve as its symbol on the map?
Oh, I see the Grand Piano now!... Though to be honest, it's probably a piano and a fly. It's a Piano-Fly! :foot

I didn't mention this, every now and then, it'd quickly appear to be shooting a tongue from its leg. It happened so fast that if you blinked, you'd miss it. After going back to the level and abusing the pause and play buttons on my room run, I found out what was really happening:
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"RAWR! YOU'RE WRONG! I'M NOT PIANO-FLY, I'M SHARK-PIANO-FLY! RAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRR!!!!!"
I also forgot to mention that he doesn't seem to hurt you at all. So much for being a threatening shark-piano-fly.
kuliwil wrote:Image I love ur new emoticons, and KEEN LEMMING FTW! Image
Should add em to the emoticon roundup thread :disguised
Thanks :lol
VikingBoyBilly wrote:this game never ceases to crack me up :lol
What I like about this game is how the further you go, the more amusing it gets. :lol

PS: Would you still like the "music" from Frogger and Space Invaders, or do you already have it? :confused
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Aaaaaagh. That music is back. :tired

...Hey, that waterfall's actually kinda cool.
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Aside from being a little buggy, it's really cool how your feet splash in the water.

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Awww, he ran out of ideas for enemies.

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Right after I took the picture, the music stopped, resulting in me being sent to the map A second play-through of the level revealed I wasn't missing much: the blue door (well, square) is the exit.
Next!
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Huh?
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Hmm, I wonder...
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Huh?... Cool music!

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As ridiculously easy as this is, I think this is really awesome, partially due to how random it is. There's only one way to go: up! (although you can go down, but that's just useless. But fun.)

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We must be near the end!

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...Or at least, at the end of anything noteworthy. :dead

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I just collected some lives from here. I don't feel rewarded.
Also, we're finally hearing Keen music.

...

CELEBRATION TIME COME ON! :D
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I think that this is the first experience (and will probably be the only) I've ever had that's amusingly boring. :crazy

When I beat this level, it played the most epic Keen exit sound ever. Just listen to this awesomeness!
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Spider-Ship, Spider-Ship, does whatever a Spider-Ship can...

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Yeah, Lem... I mean, Keen! Go to that ship! Maybe the REAL Commander Mean is in there!

Yes, Commander Mean. We still love you, as lame as you are. And even if Mortimer likes to steal your Identity.

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Ohhh boy, definately not. Just these guys. :redeyes
"We warned you nearly five times,human!"
About how awesome you guys think you are, that's all.

"You must be the rumor nuisance the Shikadi and Bloogs are talking about!"
...And aliens and monsters and Combines and other things from Science and Outer Space were all talking about you too! We're your BIGGEST fans!... Can we have your autograph?

"Well,we aren't leaving until YOU ARE DEAD!"
Oh boy, this doesn't sound good.

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Time to save our game.

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Running around circles while trying to fire upwards in hopes of hitting those guys...

THIS IS MORE RANDOM THAN MAD LIBS!! And we still haven't met that vanishing agent yet. >:

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You've got to be kidding me. SPORKY?!?!

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I won! Image

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That must be the most hideous drawing of Mort in the universe.
"THE END
Congratulations!
You finally escaped the Other Red Planet:Itchbay!"
Have I really accomplished anything by beating this?

"But things are still in motion..."
The Earth, for example, has orbited to a different spot, and now, Keen has to look for it.

"The Evil Sporky went and joined the Spork group of
Kalorkian VII."
AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!!!! THERE'S A WHOLE CLAN OF THEM!!!!!! RUUUUNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*explodes*

"Commander Keen thinks that if he can hurry,he'll beat his parents
getting back home."
I'll bet his parents already beat him home.

"On the way back,he saw a huge space station in the works."
It was very conveniently located, and very easy to enter.

"Suddenly,he knew Mortimer was serious about blowing up the
universe!It was his machine!"
Who else would have a machine like that? Bob the Builder?!

"But he'll have to take care of it tomorrow,or else his parents will
think he's missing!"
Of course, he has to sleep, potentially letting the world get destroyed. You know, he may have had to go home in Keen 1, but at least he realized that he didn't have time for sleep!

"Don't miss Keen 9!It'll be the biggest and most suprising Keen
ever!You won't believe your eyes!""
I guess the randomness that's sure to come with it is very "suprising."

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And we get the credits, and we go to earth...
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...Go to the high scores...
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...And that's about it. Let's enter our name, shall we?
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I easily beat the high score.

One more thing: Hidden files, and a secret.
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So THIS is how you get the yellow gem. Lovely.

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That's me shooting at rocks, in random, uncontrollable directions. I'm glad the game skips this. Although, the 2.5D effect is really cool, if really crude as well.

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I get to have explosions, and not just one, but TWO yellow gems!! If only the rest of the game was this intense.

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And now, Keen's going away. By shrinking. Yaaaaaaaaay.

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Then there's the splash screen you get before you quit the game. This room is basically an advertisement.... I wonder what his website looks like? I bet it's broken.
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I knew it was broken.

This game also has enough dignity to include at least one cheat code-
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The end cheat. Except it only works on the menu.

Good luck returning to the Oracle chamber, old man.
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I have two options, click one of the menu items and have it act like I've done nothing, or press F12 and see the ending sequence.

My review: 1.5/11: So Bad it's Good, but only under certain circumstances
The beginning couldn't have been any more boring, and the spoon level is nearly impossible to beat! In fact, I dare anyone who's willing to dare to beat the level, and prove it with a video of them playing through the whole thing. After that piece of garbage, you've got the rest of the game, which is completely random, crazy and awfully wonderful like the original. How ever, it's not worth playing this unless you have The games factory. The graphics are all either ripped or completely horrible, just like in the last game. There's probably about 4 Keen songs in this game; the rest are either from the library or the Lemmings.

Let's rap, shall we?
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This game was longer it needed to be
It got a quarter of the graphics from the library tree
the rest are really poor custom sprites
with the art from Keen being used real light, dig it.

I never beat the spoon room, and I never will
Not because I can't, I'd just have to be off my grill
The ending was really stupid
maybe I'd like this game if I was shot by Cupid... I give up. I want to let this game collect dust for a while. Who knows, maybe it's taking up too much space anyway... Not that it takes much space, just that maybe ANY space it takes it too much space...

Next up, a very colorful Mod. :eek
Last edited by Bonevelous on Wed Aug 11, 2010 0:06, edited 1 time in total.
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VikingBoyBilly
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Post by VikingBoyBilly »

I'm having a really hard time following the rap lyrics with the beat.
And that image of keen before entering the haunted music mansion should be an emote :)
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Syllypryde
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Post by Syllypryde »

Has anyone noticed what "Itchbay" spells in Pig Latin? :p
.niarb ym fo
snoitulovnoc eht tuaba
selbbarcs ssensuoicsnoc
rehgih a ekil smees
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Fleexy
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Post by Fleexy »

Someone already said that. :crazy
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Syllypryde
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Post by Syllypryde »

Fleexy wrote:Someone already said that. :crazy
I am sorry I missed it. It must have been hidden somewhere between the 412 screencaps that were posted!!! :foot
.niarb ym fo
snoitulovnoc eht tuaba
selbbarcs ssensuoicsnoc
rehgih a ekil smees
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DaVince
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Post by DaVince »

I knew it was broken.
Rather than saying it's broken, it really can't be helped - the entirety of Geocities has been shut down some time ago.
The beginning could have been any more boring,
Holy garg, things could get MORE boring than that?! :eek
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Post by Ceilick »

Who else would have a machine like that? Bob the Builder?!
:lol

I'm actually kind of disturbed that this vaguely follows the same plot as my Keen 8: keen gets stuck on some planet (Itchbay/Calidune) and has to fight some previously unknown character (Forky & Spoony/Imposter Keen (Who also 'resembles' Commander Mean?! :O )) to get back to saving the universe.

Once again, great playthrough, really fun to enjoy fangames like this without actually having to suffer through them :p You do us a service!
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